Leila Chammas here. As of about a week ago, I’ve been thinking about starting my own WordPress site – somewhere where I could create and collect elements from the digital world to help better understand myself. What are the things I like? What are the things I don’t? Why? Who am I and who am I looking to become?
I understand that there’s something slightly narcissistic about creating a public website full of things that pertain to me but, the whole point is, there is no way I’m the only one.
I’m not the only millennial. I’m not the only person struggling to find meaning, to find a career, to find people who don’t seem to utterly disappoint. For those of you familiar with American Horror Story and the 3rd season in particular, you’re probably familiar with the iconic monologue delivered by Emma Roberts as Madison Montgomery. You know the one. The one that accurately depicts Millennials as careless and fleeting yet neglects to reflect on our generation’s hurt, the helplessness we feel, the empowerment we sometimes manage to gain, the many moldy layers that make up a 27-year-old female living in middle class America.
“I am a Millennial. Generation Y. Born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11, give or take. They call us the Global Generation. We are known for our entitlement and narcissism. Some say it’s because we’re the first generation where every kid gets a trophy just for showing up. Others think it’s because social media allows us to post every time we fart or have a sandwich for all the world to see. But it seems that our one defining trait is a numbness to the world. An indifference to suffering.
[…] I would give everything I have or will ever have just to feel pain again. To hurt.
[…] And that’s the rub of all this, isn’t it? I can’t feel s**t. I can’t feel anything. We think that pain is the worst feeling. It isn’t. How could anything be worse than this eternal silence inside of me?
[…] I need to do something” – Madison Montgomery, American Horror Story – Coven (Episode 7, “The Dead”)
There’s more to me, and more to most people, than meets the eye. So I suppose this can be my collection of digital explorations to find out who I am, why I am the way I am, and what the hell I’m supposed to do with myself now. This is me doing something.
© Leila Chammas, October 23, 2016.