I promise they’re not the same thing. I didn’t know that introversion was even a thing until a few years ago. I grew up hearing adults ask my mom, “What’s wrong with Marble?” “Is she okay?” “Is something bothering her?”
Uhhhh, there was a lot bothering me but that’s not what they were referring to. They wanted to know why I didn’t talk much or smile often. They wanted to know why the windup doll my mother brought along with her wasn’t moving. She’s so static, Diane. Is she okay? What won’t you smile? Give me a smile. She’s so frigid.
I wasn’t annoyed until you asked in that way. Anyway, I’m fine. I’m not sure why I have to talk to you to prove it. Or maybe I do. My oneness is offensive, I get it. Silence is uncomfortable, strange, maybe even mysterious. A child that doesn’t play isn’t a child at all. It’s not that I don’t like people, I just like being alone more. And not all the time, just sometimes. I didn’t smile because I missed my dad and I didn’t talk much because I wasn’t sure what to say.
I enjoy your company but I’m also really observant and that exhausts me. I was sitting across the table from Alice at a rambunctious tea party and while I enjoyed every minute of it, my mind wandered the whole time.
Who cleans all these kettles? I like Alice’s dress. What does the 10/6 mean?
Happy Unbirthday, Alice!
It’s also my unbirthday. It’s probably everyone’s unbirthday here. What are the odds that any one day would be someone in the room’s birthday? Probably not 1 out 0f 365 just because I’m pretty sure some months and even days are less common for whatever social, economic, and historic reasons. I read an article about how it’s more common to share a birthday with someone in the room than people think. Who trims their hair? It’s probably a nice job to have, painting and designing teapots and cups. I’d like to design my own set. The art is quite beautiful on these sets. How does one clean a large, velvet, red chair? Steam clean? Send it off somewhere to be cleaned? I don’t know. I wouldn’t buy furniture like that even though it’s beautiful; it would be too high maintenance.
Make a wish, Alice!
I wonder what she wished for. The fireworks are pretty but polluting the air.
Aww, the mouse is so cute!
Ugh, it’s adorable. It could have ended up in a lab, yet here it is, parachuting out of a cake with a teal umbrella into a teapot. Remarkable. Is it going to stay in there? I should get going, it’s getting dark and the main event is over.
I say my goodbyes, having enjoyed the occasion but also tired myself, wondering. I’m introverted – there will always be something else vying for my mental attention. It just won’t always be you I choose to give it to.
© Leila Chammas, October 30, 2016